Call me Back
Dating is difficult for me, especially when expectations are not laid out. As a new resident from Illinois, now living in Texas, it seems that regardless of location, one must truly put in work to actively date. I have been advised to try everything under the sun. From online dating, this includes Christian Singles, Black People Meet, and OK Cupid. The list just goes on and on, to different churches, clubs, etc. I can truly tell you if I didn’t have to use a computer for my job, I would never log on. I like handling all my business via phone or in person. One thing I have enjoyed about the internet is online bill pay. I digress. Dating for me has always been different. I am never one to be chased or to chase. My last relationship lasted 8 years was off friendship. Logan and I met, when I transferred universities. I was still getting over my high school madness, and truly was awkward when conversing with my peers.
Therefore, when Logan came along it was relief. He was 27 and I 19. I was more flattered than anything. I truly believed that he and I were going to have that happily ever after love story. Being with Logan, for so long I never thought of a plan B. I was never supposed to have to enter into the dating world. Funny, you would think I would plan for such a thing, especially because I am such a planner in everything else in my life. I am not your standard risk taker. However, as of late, I decided to take a leap of faith. Do things I have never done before. That is why I took my birthday trip. It was about me getting out of my own way. You read from my previous entry how I had the opportunity to snorkel and go horseback riding. Those two things were so liberating. I dare you to go out and try them, and you don’t have to go Costa Rica to do so.
Back to dating, I have been hanging out with David. He is a year and a half younger than I. Trust, me, I do not do younglings. I mean he is a nice person, but he doesn’t have the ambition I desire in a mate. I am one of those people who have a serious personality. Most would describe as type A. David, well; he would be described as type B. Well, his B does not balance my A. I need a little more stimulation in conversation. I need to know that when push comes to shove and the jokes are done, one would be able to handle business. He has not shown me that, and quite frankly, I do not think he knows how. I told him, he and I can be friends but nothing more. I am not into wasting anyone’s time.
What I want to leave everyone with is that, through my dating saga, I have learned there is no right or wrong way. Neither is there a one way method in which to be introduced to someone. It can be at church, Greek picnic, comedy club, and there I say work. What is important is you determine your fate. Do not be quick to rush in. Do not give yourself unrealistic expectations, but also do not lower your standards. Be willing to be rejected but also be willing to reject. In the appointed time, it will happen for you. I know everyone says, they are awaiting their Boaz, well, I am more so waiting for my Mr. Right. In the meantime, enjoy the ride, make new friends. Allow yourself time to truly discover who you are and what it is you truly desire.
Tactful Talk Tuesday with Taneka