Dating in 2013
Have you heard the saying you have to laugh to keep from crying? Well, I just had to tell myself, I have to laugh to keep from slapping someone in the face. I mean, why is it so hard to have decent conversation and a reasonable date in 2013? Now, I am not one for male bashing, and I will not make that the focus of this particular blog. However, what I will say is we all need to be more selective of the company we choose to keep. Before I go into the meat and potatoes, I want you to know what brought this about. As everyone needs a good laugh, and we all can learn from one another.
Sunday, I ended my year long hiatus from dating. It was the unconventional method, in which I met this person via online dating site. After constantly hearing my coworkers and friends tell me to give it a try, I bit the bullet. (Note to self, never do this again). David and I conversed prior to the outing; I have relabeled this from being considered an official date to the term outing. You can steal that term if you like. In any event, he and I spoke for roughly a week prior to us meeting up, because my sister was in town, and I transiting to Texas just didn’t provide much flexibility. Therefore, I told him we could get together after I put my sister on the plane, as I didn’t want to be rude and have to juggle that whole seen. What was to be a Saturday outing turned into a Sunday after church meeting. Shout out to True Hope Apostolic Church of Austin for a warm reception, and Apostle Loveless delivering a wonderful message on “Worship.”I digress.Anyway, back to this outing. He and I met up downtown Austin, which is a beautiful city with great scenery and cultural things to do.
We get there and he says “Follow me.” I began to trail him in my car, and we wind up in the local Chinese district, (in Chicago we would call this China Town). I do not think that is the political correct term, yet you get the jest. I am thinking we are coming there to eat authentic Asian cuisine. This is not the case. He is says, “Let’s walk around.” Now I am a Midwest girl, heat and I are not quite friendly. However, in the spirit of keeping an open mind we walk around this area. We discussed ambitions and where one would like to see themselves in the future. I am not up on the rules of what you should and should not discuss on a first outing, so before anyone says, “Girl, don’t do that just go with the flow.” Sorry but I am not that girl. I need to know what I am getting myself into, as there is no sense in wasting both of our times if we are not feeling one another. He told me he does not do school, even though his profile stated he completed college, and was from an Engineering background. He stated he was a Christian and looking for a God fearing woman, and yet the fool asked me if could he come to my house and sleep in my bed. Now clearly, neither listening nor reading is this man’s strong point because number one, I do not play those games and number two, dude, even if I were sexually active, sleeping with you on day number one is not my idea of a good time. To make this a long story short because it really is a comical experience, I learned the following things about this person. He is not what I a person that I would identify as a Christian. He believes his own lies. He lacks ambition. He is clueless of what it means to really court a woman. He has bad financial management skills. The list goes on but I want torture you any longer, as I had to deal with it Sunday, and I think I would be doing you a disservice to continue on.
As for the meat and potatoes of what I would like to address, it is regarding standards and requirements. I want anyone who has children, whether they are male or female to instill in them the value that they provide while engaging in a relationship. When we think of friendships, relationships, courtships, what they all have in common is the word SHIP. It can be broken down as to the known fact that a ship is made of many working parts with a common goal in which to survive. At any point where there is a leak or broken part in the vessel, the ship will sink. It is with this understanding that each part must corporate with the other and ensuring that it has a solid foundation. Thus, in using this analogy as it pertains to a relationship, we must ensure that the foundation is solid. It cannot be solid if it is built on a lie. It cannot be solid if there is not a clear objective as to where one would like to go. It cannot be solid if only one party is willing to put in the work. Therefore, before entering into this thing called dating, have a goal in mind. Do not waste your time or others by just going through the motions. Life is too precious to waste on senseless matters. Now we all know not everyone is meant to be your forever after, however, I am under the notion that not everyone is meant to occupy space. We have to be better choosers. We cannot sit idle and expect for prince/princess charming to come to us. We must seek to put in work, but know that not everyone is worth putting in work for. As I like to say, I am not about the wilderness journey, therefore, its pruning season. Rid yourself of the headaches, and stop dealing with foolishness.
Tactful Talk Tuesday with Taneka