Get It Together
One of the most power statements I have come across in recent weeks was via a Facebook post. There was a picture of the late rapper Tupac, with the following words, “The most expensive thing in the world is trust.” “It can takes years to earn and just a matter of seconds to lose”. I want you to ponder that statement for a minute. Then, I want you to think about the time it takes for someone to gain your trust and vice versa. I lead with this because I believe far too often we have blind trust in people; especially when it comes to committed relationships. Personally, in the spirit of honesty, I deem it unnecessary not to give someone the benefit of the doubt. However, I do believe that once someone shows you who they are, you need to believe them. Yet, it seems in the quest to be in romantic relationships, this is not always the case.
Case in point, I spent 8 years in an on and off again relationship. You talk about being emotionally spent. It’s like the calm before the storm, where no matter what someone tells you, you are hoping and praying things would get better. I still cannot truthfully say that I would have walked away from the relationship, if God had not intervened. I said a quick prayer one day, where I just said, “God if this relationship is not of you, than remove it from me quickly.”As you know, I am not about the wilderness journey. In a matter of a month, I was sitting face to face with the mister, and before I knew it, words that I never thought I would be saying were flying out of my mouth. Truly, I was mystified.When I came to visit him, I thought we were on the course of finalizing wedding plans, whereas, instead we were saying our final goodbyes. I tell my friends all the time to be careful what you pray for, it will get answered. What I have learned over time, that no matter how much we want for others, if they do not want it for themselves, then it does not matter. You have to get to the point where you know your best is good enough.When it returns void, you know God is not in it.
I am reminded of an old wise saying, “two people can be walking the same path and yet be on a different journey.” It does not matter how many books you direct someone too, nor how much information you present at their feet. If they are not ready to receive what you have to offer, it is all for naught. Therefore, the next time you are speaking with your friends, just note that their problems are not yours to fix. You are truly to be a listening ear. You will find that the more you seek to solve their problems, the more frustrating it becomes. I lean on this one verse of scripture when it comes to matters of the heart -
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
And for me, once it is all said and done, love should never hurt, and if it does, than truly one is in the wrong relationship.
Tactful Talk Tuesday with Taneka