Let's Get Married
Tell me why o why o why, must people continue to lie. Why must we minimize something that is so sacred to just saying it's only a sheet of paper? Have we really forgotten what it means to become one? I say this because I recently read some of the most arsine concepts that I just had to take it to my loyal readers. You have to help me understand where this point of view on marriage coming from. Back ground, as you know when I am passionate about something it strikes a core and I tend to go rapid speed.
The question was posed when should a wedding date be set after an engagement? Should a woman feel as though she is being strung along if her fiancée states he is not ready to set a date? Now, my answer was, yes she is being strung along and that was a hush proposal. If you ask me to marry you, after we finish telling parents and mutual friends, we are then going to sit down have talk about the date. For me engagement is for a set amount of time, not to be prolonged. If you are ready to ask, and I accept, then we should not be saying we are or have been engaged for over 2 years. I know people say well you have to save up for the wedding. Or you hear the he is getting his stuff together so do not rush him. Let me break it down to you. We are not talking marriage, if we still talking about fine tuning ourselves separately. Once you proposed there is no more I need to do, it's what we need to do. I do not get this concept of saying in one breathe you ready to be married via the proposal, and then in the second you say, we need to wait until I strike xyz off the list. Call me crazy, but those xyz reasons should be the communicated reasons as to why you have not done it, not why you have done it and now need to wait.
I said it before and I will say it again, we put too much stock in the wedding and not in the marriage. Why cannot we just stick to the vows as they were written? "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part." Instead we want to remix everything which is not founded on anything and wonder why it does not work out. Help me out, or straighten me out. What is the solution to us understanding and valuing the covenant of marriage?
Tactful Talk Tuesday with Taneka