Mind Your Business
Mind Your Business…
I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to wish my brother, Domonick, a happy birthday. Over the years, it has been critical for me to weigh out the pros and cons of my decision making. I am thankful that I have siblings who came before and after me, that allows me to see this journey called life in a different perspective. Growing up, I was an introvert. The only time you truly saw my light shine was in school. I was that student. I was dependable, reliable, and confident in my academics. However, one thing that school could not teach me was about men. On the playground, they taught you that if a boy teased you, that meant he liked you. Well, in Taneka’s household, that was not the case. My brothers taught us early on, you do not allow anyone to make you feel small. My brothers, cousins and uncles were and some still are players.
Growing up in an environment where men knew how to get what they wanted from women opened my eyes to the darker side of relationships. It leads me to harden my heart. With that knowledge, you come to cover up things. You tend to say to yourself, “Not so.”I mean really, who wants to be a sucker in a relationship? I found out the baggage that I was carrying from witnessing the male figures in my life dictated the advice I gave my female friends. I told myself I wouldn’t want it to happen to me, so it’s only right that I advise the women in my circle of misguided choices. Well, guess what? That does not work. What I have learned is that sometimes experience is the best teacher. Some people truly just want you to listen. They do not care about what your brother, cousin, or uncle did. Some people just want a tough lesson, and there is truly nothing you can say or do to stop them.
What works for me, does not work for everyone else. We must be able to evaluate and determine how a message will be received. You have to know if someone is ready to listen to what you have to say. I mean this word called “hating” is alive and well; more so more that the word judgment. Both words have their place, and yet they lose their value in emotional and irrational states. This love game is serious business and shouldn’t be taken lightly. So the next time you are ready to give or receive advice, ask the most important question. Is this more about me or is it about the person asking for the advice? You have to be objective.
Tactful Talk Tuesday with Taneka