My New Year's Resolution....I Choose Me

12/29/2013 19:52

This past Christmas week, I got the flu.  Being the Superwoman that I often think I am, I couldn't build enough strength to do the things I thought I needed to do.  My father, being the man that he is, literally took the keys away from me and told me to lay it down.  I was down for about 5 days.  To a person like me that's a lifetime.  I prayed for this nigtmare to be over.  Be still for 5 days!!! I felt like a caged tiger wandering around the house, only to pass out and have other people take care of me.  Some of you maybe thinking, "Fool just sit still, take a rest, get better!!"  Yet my twisted mindset thinks that's a waste of time. 


 

I also notice that during these times, people don't really care how you feel or what you are going through.  You know those times when life seems to trample on you sooo hard, and people, sometimes your so-called friends, want you to deliver.  I had that situation happen so many times this year, that I had to reevaluate friendships and relationships.  I am hurting and you want me to cook.  I am sick and you want me to coordinate a program.  Can you see, hear, or feel my pain?


 

Whenever I am brought down low, I go to the Master and asked "Why do you have me still?"  From my past experiences, whenever I am in a position for too long, I feel the Lord has to tell me something.  That night He flashed back my whole year.......What a year!!!  Here are the highlights:

Just started a blog

Didn't get the job I had been working so hard for

Dismissed from a position I loved

A few of my friends, associates, and mentors past away

Almost lost a parent twice this year

Started a new job (Transition)

Didn't work for 3 months

A relationship that was beautiful abruptly ended


 

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  Now looking at this list, I should have lost my mind.  I thought I did.  Yet, not one time did I deal with the fact that I had some pretty drastic things happening to me that should have killed me.  Now don't get me wrong, some of you look at that list and think this could have been the worst year of my life, on the contrary.  I can flip this list:

The blog has completely changed my life

I was dismissed from a position God told me to walk away from anyway, only to find out it got so much worst when I left

My parent bounced back and is doing great

Love my new jobs

That relationship was seasonal

Plus the Lord provided the whole time I was off work

 I need to stop and realize a hurt and take it to the Lord instead of running from it. 

So when I say, I choose me this coming 2014, I choose:

1.  To Forgive myself, I am not perfect

2.  Take time to acknowledge hurt, deal, and heal from it

3.  Constantly know that God knows exactly where I am and He Got It.  I can't fix it if I tried.  (I did try)

4.  Get the dead weight out of my life i.e. toxic relationships

5.  This is personal SLOW DOWN!!!!!


 

Tell me what is your declaration for 2014.  I Choose Me!!!
 

 

 

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