Not a Badge of Honor to Be a Baby Momma…
Not a Badge of Honor to Be a Baby Momma…
I have contemplated how I would write this entry without offending. I realized that for some, that may not be possible, and thus I must speak the truth. If one is offended by the words in which I write, it truly means a nerve has been hit. Maybe, just maybe, instead of triggering a negative it will result in a positive. I do understand that certain things can result in unplanned pregnancy that is beyond one’s control, and in those instances this message is not for you. This message is for people who knowingly go into a situation with blinders. You have to say to yourself, what I could have done differently. Where does the responsibility lie? How could I have changed the outcome? These are questions that I do not believe anyone is asking themselves. The thrill is gone, and what one thought was love is lust.
I am reminded of the Aaliyah lyrics, which stated,” If your girl only knew, she probably leave, you alone, she probably cuss you out and hang up the phone”. You know what I find, it is that subjective matter. The word probably, when truly what we have found is that people are living the Betty Wright lyrics, “you know having a piece a man, is better than no man, so I am going to just take what I got and work with”. These are the crazy things that are plaguing the world. Instead of people living in reality, they are living in the world of make believe. I mean ask yourself, why on God’s green earth would you want to have a child with someone who already has ten children, and think you would be different. Please do not give me the one scenario out of one hundred, where you know of a person who was able to support, nurture and care for ten plus kids by five different people. We are not just talking about supporting someone financially; we are speaking of overall support.
In recent years we have had an influx of reality television. In most of the shows, you are having a representation of the baby momma where the woman is the ex of a celebrity or a part of the cast 16 & Pregnant. We are being lead to believe that this is the life in which to strive. We forget that when the cameras are off and one truly has to raise their children, someone is being neglected. It may not be all cases, and again let’s not apply the exception to the rule scenario, shoot I am the exception to the rule. I know you are like, “how could you say such a thing?” I think it’s time for someone to say such a thing. You know I keep seeing wrap it up commercials, and the promotion of safer sex. I will tell you that is a joke from the pit of hell. Let’s think about the concept of safer sex. Outside of the foreseen consequences of having sex, why doesn’t anyone discuss what it means to be emotionally and spiritually tied to someone as a result of having sex? I know the pornography industry is the exception, where you see people with this disconnect and able to have sex with any and every one. Now let’s look at the everyday person. You are dating looking to be sought for a long term committed relationship. Yet, in the interim you are sharing yourself with any and every one. In this exchange you are now, taking on spiritual and emotional scares. I know they say you aren’t, but let’s get real. Why else are you busting windows out of cars, prank phone calling homes, hanging outside of bushes, and all the other foolishness? You are not doing this just because the person said hello. You are doing this because you shared something special, (your body), and now you are feeling used, abused and neglected.
Therefore, why would you add a child into the mix, when a person has already made you feel less than what you are worth? Why then would you then go on Facebook, twitter, and Instagram, and blast this person for what they are not doing for you. You know why, because you are MAD. You know why you are MAD, because you saw the signs way before you decided to bring a child into this world, and yet you proceeded on. I do not want you to continue to lie to yourself and say it is a badge of honor to be a baby momma. That is not the truth, and to continue to parade around as though it is a LIE. Let’s stop accepting mediocrity, and just admit to yourself, that you messed up. Do not waste any more time, running to the child support office, thinking that the $20 a week is going to change the bitterness that is in your heart. Therefore, all this bringing a child in this world just because you can, needs to stop. If you do not have advanced education (trade school, military training, or college), a self-sufficient paying career, with your own home and car, why would you then bring a child into this world? You know it was hard for you to save money to just take care of you, now you go forth, and bring a child into this world, only to bash and demean the other person who helped conceive this new life. I call it hogwash.
If you are going to be “grown” then guess what, do not go running and complaining about having to live a hard knock life. You put yourself in this situation, so now get yourself out of it. I am tired of children having to pay the consequences for their irresponsible parents. I do not want to hear another person condemn or slander the person to whom they chose to sleep and conceive a child with. You knew what you were getting into when you two laid down with one another. Do not say, “Oh no he or she changed overnight.” Sorry but irresponsible behavior is not an overnight sensation. You overlooked certain traits in the name of “love” and now you want to act as though the signs were not there. Child please, time for accountability and responsibility to be place where it needs to be, at your doorstep. Get your act together, stop pretending to be an adult, and actually become an adult. Admit your wrongdoings; accept that you may have to raise your child alone. In doing so, you do not get to pat yourself on the back. It is what you were supposed to do, the day you decided to bring forth life into this world. You get no special privileges or awards for doing what people have had to do since the beginning of time.
Time for us to stop sugarcoating dumb stuff and recognize that this next generation is lost. The generations before them, decided they were too tired to speak the truth. Too tired to be the village. Too tired, to just not allow their neighbor’s child to study at their house, while one is at work. Too tired, to truly just help someone needing a helping hand. We have taken correction out of the home, and now are children are being placed in the house of corrections. Do not been deceived, you either raise your kids now, and stop focusing on the dumb stuff or you either will be visiting your child in jail or the grave.
Only persons who deserve badges are law enforcement officers, and Girl and/or Boy Scouts. Even they must earn them by putting in work.
Tactful Talk Tuesday with Taneka