Put Yourself First…

02/11/2013 20:23

Stop hurting yourself and those that love you by placing unrealistic expectation upon them. You are to protect your heart at all cost, and not give it freely to those that may despitefully use you.  I scream this from the top of my lungs.  Far too often we are caught up in the feeling of being in love, instead of the action of love. 

Reflect on the following scripture for a moment:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4 -7).

I have found that too often, the mark of the Hal-Mark holidays have lead people to become depress, bitter and or frustrated.  I can attest that the only holiday I really like to have celebrated is Christmas.  Yet, I can also understand wanting to feel special for a day of love. Therefore, as a close friend Rae Lewis-Thornton once said, “do not give away your pretty”.  She was reminding us, that we are in control of our choices, and we must understand the consequences of our actions.

We are all guilty of giving away parts of ourselves to underserving people.  We stay in relationships that mean us no earthly good.  We justify staying by saying, it will get better.  I submit to you that it will not get better; you are not supposed to be in that relationship. Come Valentine’s Day, what you should be looking for is an exit strategy.  Stop holding onto a relationship that was over before it began.  Stop seeking to micro manage your life by crossing off items on your to do list.  If you or your mate is not giving 100% to your relationship then why are you staying?  The worst thing you can do come Valentine’s Day is cry over someone that you know deep down in your heart you can live without.

One of my male friends, Joe, stated that the ultimate goal of women should be a wife. He further explained that we as women need to learn and know our role. He said that as a girlfriend we cannot have expectations of a wife. As a side piece, we cannot have expectations of a girlfriend. He said the only person who can truly have any expectations where they desire all from a man is his wife.

Now before we all go crazy, which I was ready to do just that, I had to think about what he was saying.  It goes back to what our parents taught us.  Do not count your eggs before it hatches.  Why buy the cow, when the milk is already free?

My creed is: love should not hurt.There is no amount of chocolate, jewelry, or roses that will take away the pain of a broken heart. Especially when you place your heart in the hands of someone who you already know was undeserving.To my readers, I know it can get lonely at times. As it is natural to desire to have companionship, you do not want to do is loose your self-worth in the process of seeking a relationship at all cost.