That Girl is Poison: Toxic Relationships by Pastor Jerry Wright

That Girl is Poison: Toxic Relationships

        Did you know Samson had his eyeballs gouged out? That sounds terrible doesn’t it? What is worse is that he was set up by his woman, Delilah. Samson was truly blinded by love. It is so hard for me to feel sorry for Samson because he was so incredibly stupid.  Delilah’s motive all along was to learn the secret to his strength, bind him up, and let the Philistines take him away. On several different occasions, she showed her hand and he never questioned why. Delilah must have been fine! I am talking about a Serena, Gabrielle, Halle combination, a real brick house! That’s the only explanation I can come up with. “That girl was poison” (Bell, Biv, DeVoe).

        This is a classic toxic relationship.  One person is in love and the other is a user, in lust. Lust for selfish gain, not (just) sex but money, material, and time. Toxic simple means poisonous.  This poison can kill your heart, your soul or your spirit slowly until death.

        As a pastor, I have seen many types of toxic relationships.  People stay in these relationships for various reasons. Here are a few; fear of being alone, financially it works, for the sake of children, it portrays a certain image to outsiders, they need my help, it will get better, need to feel needed. I am not talking about bad marriages here. I’m talking about relationships.  Samson was not married to Delilah. There are just times in our lives, when we want to be wanted. Since everybody else is hooking up, you want the same especially around holidays, for prom, weddings, reunions, etc. These urgings are the ones that get us in trouble.  We move from Godly purpose to worldly purpose.  You begin to say to yourself, “this God thing ain’t working for me”, so you go and create a soul-tie that’s not easily broken. 

        I can remember a friend who desired an older woman. He found one through his employment.  It was great for about thirty days, until one day she wanted to show him off to some friends she was picking up at the airport.  He had other plans he could not change.  They engaged in a heated discussion about the matter. As they finished lunch and got into her car she drove at 70mph in a 30mph zone.  He held his breath as she darted around cars and pedestrians narrowly missing a few.  As he sat there gripping his seat he thought, “Lord if you let me live I promise to do things your way from now on.”  That was the end of that relationship. Now he dates only in search of a wife. (Too bad he later found out she was carrying his child).

        Samson should have done the same.  After Delilah’s first failed attempt to capture his strength, which was God given; he should have been out of there. Samson allowed his spirit, or connection with God, to run too low. His discernment was absent.  Samson was coming off a failed marriage, he was further stressed fighting the Philistines, and he slept with a prostitute. He was spiraling downward and God’s voice was faint. Delilah was best of the garbage he had fallen into, which doesn’t make it good.  She was probably beautiful, sexy, accommodating, and complimentary, had her own place, drove her own chariot, washed his clothes, let him sleep over, cooked him meals, rubbed his big muscles, owned a red dress and black lace panties.  Satan has a way of making demons look like angels to our flesh.  So Samson trusted Delilah with the secret to his God-given gift and immediately lost it.  She was paid a few shekels and never thought about him again.  After his eyeballs were gouged out he could clearly see God’s purpose for his life. (Sin takes you further than you want to go, costs more than you want to pay, and keeps you longer than you want to stay).

Holla if you hear me!